On Israel, Internships, and Relationships: Interview with Alex

One of the friends I made on my work abroad trip to Israel was Alex, a leadership consultant and author. She works with leaders, mentors, and coaches who are working on building their purpose-driven team of clients and employees. She helps them learn how to make a large social impact, mentor and develop a group of people, whoever that is in their niche, while also generating income. Since December Alex has been running her own business. It's definitely looked a little different with COVID, but it's allowed her to be totally virtual and work anywhere, which she appreciates. If you'd like to to join a community of leaders looking to improve their leadership skills, check out Alex's group We Build Killer Teams here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/webuildkillerteams/

Read on to learn about how our trip impacted her life both professionally and privately.

Click this link if you'd like to watch/listen to the interview: https://youtu.be/VA_fh4_vFYg

Mariya: What made you decide to join the Onward Israel internship program that fateful summer of 2013?

Alex: It kind of just attached to my Birthright trip. So I went to Northeastern University for school, and one of the summer trips that they were doing was the Northeastern trip to Israel with Birthright, and I really didn't want to stay for just two weeks. I was like, "Why don't I take advantage of the free ticket?" Since they allow you to stay for free. So what I ended up doing was two weeks of Birthright, I travelled alone for over two weeks, and then I did Onward Israel for two months.

M: Nice! And that was your way of kind of continuing to connect with Israel?

A: Yeah, and I think I didn't want to go home either [laughs]. So it was my way of being like let me have this incredible experience. It's basically paid for by Onward Israel, by Birthright, it was such a good opportunity for me to get to explore and it was literally a once-in-lifetime experience. I don't know when I'm going to have three months to do that again.

M: What did you end up doing for your internship in Haifa?

A: I worked at the University of Haifa and I did an internship in their Psychology Research Department. It was actually kind of interesting. They were were doing a study on acculturation with people who were immigrating to Israel from the US, Russia, and there was one more country, I think it was Spain. They did tons of interviews on what kids went through when they moved from those countries to Israel, so they did all of these recordings. So I was the one to watch all of the recordings, transcribe everything from Spanish, Hebrew, and English into this one transcript for them and help them analyze that. And it was sort of interesting because I was going through my own acculturation process and I got to hear about these kids who were adjusting as well. So some of it was boring like literally sitting there for hours transcribing, but a lot of it was really interesting.

M: That must have been a lot of work to transcribe all of those interviews. Were you transcribing from all of those different languages? How did that work?

A: At the time, since I had just finished my freshman year of college and I was coming from a modern Orthodox Jewish school where I was literally taught Hebrew for 16 years, so I could read, write, and understand it. If there was something I didn't understand, then I could look it up. I also minored in Spanish so I could understand a lot of it. And I speak English. So it was a good fit in that it was all of the languages I was decently proficient at in one study.

M: Did you find that it helped inform the career decisions you’ve made since then?

A: Yes, because I'm nerdy. I like to read, I'm very science-oriented, result-oriented, and I do like learning about research. The actual doing of the research was really boring for me. Like sitting there and assessing the results for hours, staring at a computer screen for hours - I could not get into it. So that did actually change my direction. I started to realize for the classes I took at Northeastern plus that experience that I'm not sure I want to go the research route. I want more of the human connection as well.

M: It sounds like you did get some of that with learning about the acculturation experiences. It's similar to what you're doing now with building teams.

A: Yeah, it's definitely similar in some ways.

M: What were your biggest takeaways about Israeli culture in life and work?

A: I think you were at this training they did about what are the differences between the Israeli workforce and the American workforce. I definitely found this to be true: they are very direct, very blunt, very to the point. Not just at work, but everywhere. So like I'd stand at the bus station and the old ladies would shove me to the side as they make their way onto the bus. I think how direct they are is very different from everyone here. And even in my experience building teams, everyone is terrified of having tough conversations, they tip-toe around issues - it's definitely not the same in that respect.

M: Yeah, I definitely saw the same thing. Even in a school culture where I saw teachers talking to kids they were very like, "I'm not sugarcoating anything for you just because you're younger! I'm telling it like it is!" which I kind of appreciated.

A: Yeah, I liked it.

M: Our leader, Stef, really tried to build that sense of community and appreciation for Israel. What are some of the most memorable moments or events for you that really deepened your sense of connection to Israel and other Jewish people?

A: I feel like she did a good job of letting us know what was available. We lived in Haifa, which is not a super touristy area, it's not like Tel Aviv. So there were a lot of people there who didn't speak English, it was definitely very different in that way. So she just did a good job of letting us know what was going on and helped us assimilate well.

One event that stood out to me was, and you were there for this, was the salsa events. The main square where we lived, they used to do these salsa nights. All the local people who lived there used to come and do that. I think it was free and you just showed up. It was so much fun!

I do feel connected [to Israel], my dad was born there, and I actually technically have Israeli citizenship too because he was born there. Besides that, I love the country and I love the people, and I love learning about the history, but I'm not sure I'm super passionate about it in general. Although I love going and I love everything about it. But it's really just like my family history. I got to go places where my dad grew up, there were things he pointed out that I got to go and see. That was sort of special too.

At the time that I was there, also, one of my cousins had her Bat Mitzvah. They came to Israel and I happened to be there at the time, so I got to take part in that. They did an incredible, special service on top of the largest mountain you can climb. I'm blanking on the name.

M: One of my cousins had his Bar Mitzvah while I was there, so I got to go to that too. That was a very different experience because they were Orthodox. And all of the women in the synagogue were behind this divider that had these small spaces that you could poke your eye through to see what was happening on the men's side. So I was watching the whole thing through these little cutouts, which made me think, "I don't know how I feel about this, but alright." But still it was cool to have that experience there.

M: Have you done anything specific in the past 7 years to sustain your connection to Israel or parts of Israeli culture?

A: I think the biggest reminder was that I bought a lot of things to put around my apartment. So I have different posters and different things I bought from the shuks, the markets, that I still have hanging up that remind me of it.

I think the biggest thing that the trip did for me was...I had travelled to vacation-y type spots, touristy spots with my family, but this was the first trip where I went not just to go on a vacation to relax, but to genuinely try to learn and understand a different environment, a different lifestyle, a different place. I mean I just loved that so much that I've just taken so many more trips that, again, aren't just vacation-y and relaxing, but really allow me learn and experience other cultures. So I think it empowered me in that way too. I was like, "Oh, I can do this!"

M: Yeah! What other trips have you gone on?

A: My boyfriend and I went to Iceland for two weeks and we travelled all over there, which was really really amazing! We went to England, we went to France. I feel like I'm missing a country too. There's definitely another place that we went to recently that I can't remember. We started to actually do research on where do people actually hang out. We wanted to get a sense of what this place is really about.

M: Awesome! So you and I developed our friendship over the course of the trip and sort of stayed connected when we got back for a while, but then because our lives got busy we became a bit more distant. Then we re-kindled our connection this year around January just before COVID-19. What prompted you to reach out again and what advice do you have to those who are looking to revisit or sustain those kinds of relationships?

A: Well number one, for the last four to five years my life was, chaos is the wrong word but, non-stop work. So I was literally working from 5am to 9pm six days a week. So it was less that it was a purposeful loss of connection and more that it was just me and I didn't have space for anyone with the point that I was at in my life. That was part of why I wanted to get control back of my time, I want to get control back of my lifestyle. Like I didn't even have time for my boyfriend. I was only seeing him nights and part of the weekends. So once I made the switch to starting my own business, which was end of December/January, I was like, "OK, who have I not talked to in years because I haven't even had the time to take care of myself? Now, who do I have time for?"

I guess I would say, one, it's important to make sure you can take care of yourself before you're reaching out to other people and trying to get set up. Anyone that you had a good connection with, they'll remember that and they'll remember those good memories. So I think like you remember the salsa lessons and you remember the fun we had together. There are definitely plenty of people that I reached out to in January that didn't get back to me or were offended that I didn't have time for them. But you win some, you lose some I think. The people who matter will get back to you and will take you up on it.

Israel: From Working Abroad to Connecting at Home

Israel. The very name of this country evokes a variety of feelings and opinions in many people, particularly in the United States. Even in its 72nd year as a country, its legitimacy still comes into question by people across the political spectrum. As with any country, it is important to separate a nation's government from its people. Unfortunately, they often do not work in conjunction with each other's values.

For those who are less acquainted with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the gist is that it is akin to a religious turf war. Diasporic Jewish people have sought after a home for generations due to the rampant anti-Semitism that has existed throughout history. The location for this home was chosen because of the archeological evidence of Jews living in that area eons ago. Christians and Muslims from surrounding regions settled there centuries after the Jews were forced out, but have not had much autonomy as a nation due to imperial rule by the Romans, Byzantines, Ottomans, and British. Both Jews and modern-day Palestinians claim ownership of the land, and neither wants to give it up completely to the other. Compromises have been attempted, but they have mostly failed. 

I grew up attending a Jewish school in which Israel was regarded as our holy land and rightful cultural home. As a result, I cannot be unbiased in my opinions on Israel. I have visited multiple times, I have family that lives there on opposite ends of the religious spectrum, and I generally feel a kinship toward the country. I fervently believe that Israel has a right to exist. Do I stand with every political decision that the Israeli government has made? Absolutely not. The same can be said for my thoughts on the US and Russian government seeing as I am a Russian-American. Regardless, I will never stop supporting the legitimacy of Israel as a Jew.

Now that the stage has been set, I'd like to return to the core of this blog's mission: connection. The summer after my junior year of college, I applied to an organization that was offering two-month internships to Jewish college students in Haifa and Jerusalem. There would be a guide to lead us through the program to familiarize us with the city, newly renovated housing provided, and a stipend. I recognized the privilege of this opportunity and saw it as a way to not only develop useful skills in my area of study, but also improve my Hebrew which I hadn't spoken for 7 years at that point, and see relatives that I rarely or never met in person. 

Each participant in the program was placed in a setting that most closely resembled their desired workplace. At the time, I was considering speech pathology as my profession, so I was placed in the Ofakim School for Special Education, which serves about 90 children and young adults with neurological and physical disabilities such as cerebral palsy. I shadowed the speech therapist in that setting and served as an assistant counselor during their summer camp session. Additionally, I worked at an after school program for students with intellectual disabilities such as Down's syndrome. 

I witnessed the more relaxed culture of school personnel compared to my experiences in the US and the much more forward way that teachers communicated with students. They never talked down to the children and young adults, and they showed them a great deal of respect. I also learned how vast the possibilities are for communication. Body language became crucial in understanding and supporting students. 

On the weekends, which stretch from Thursday night to Saturday as opposed to Friday night to Sunday due to the Jewish tradition of keeping Shabbat on Friday nights and Saturdays, our group leader took us on various field trips around the country. Part of the purpose of these kinds of trips was to see the vast and natural beauty of the country and to encourage us to one day make aliyah. For those who don't know, making aliyah means immigrating to Israel, which is also known as returning to the Jewish homeland. 

As a group, we connected strongly with our group leader and continued to keep in touch in various ways after returning home. For some time, we also kept in touch with members of the group with whom we had developed closer bonds. Many of us remained in Massachusetts, the location of our respective colleges and universities. Even though it has been years, the memories from that trip have continued to empower me in my role as an educator.

Stay tuned to learn about my connection with a friend in the program as well as our guide in future posts.  

Celebrating Shabbat

Travel and COVID: Interview with Rianne Part III

For the last segment of my interview with Rianne, we discussed travel and COVID measures. It was interesting to hear about what initiatives are in place to support local business and what it's like to travel independently. It became more conversational towards the end when we contemplated the travel possibilities in a future where COVID-19 doesn't threaten us the way it does today.

Note: If you'd like to listen to/watch the entire interview, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ-iJpXWprg

Mariya: I remember you were travelling mostly on your own last summer. What was that like? Did you find it easier or more difficult to do certain things because of it?

Rianne: I mostly travel by myself anyway just because a lot of my friends have already settled down, married, had kids, all my closest friends anyway. So normally, when I'm travelling with someone, it's with my mom or sister; otherwise, I would go by myself. I kind of prefer it, I think, because you get to do exactly what you want; you don't have to compromise at all. You can be completely selfish. You can go and do and see everything you want. And if you want to, you can always meet people along the way, which is why I stay in hostels because I do want to meet people. So when you do want company, you can have company, and when you want your own space, you can just go and do your own thing.

M: You would probably recommend it to others?

R: Absolutely! I think it's empowering to do at least once in your life!

M: My only experience with that was when I did a program in Israel. It was a work-abroad program over the summer. I took the flight over there on my own pretty much, but I was with other people in the program when I was there, but there were opportunities for day trips and things like that. So I went to Jerusalem, to the Old City. I walked there on my own, and that was an experience unlike anything I've ever had. It does not compare to when I went there with a group of people and we were all crowding to take a picture, and we were kind of rushed like, "OK, great, you got to see it, let's go!" I got to really take it in and take my time with it. That is a nice thing about being on your own is you set your own schedule.

R: Definitely. And I think you learn more about yourself! You discover who you really are. The only downside for me is that sometimes you might go places and people that you're in a hostel with might not want to know you [laughs]. Then it can get lonely, but if you choose to make the effort, there's at least one person who will talk to you.

M: And I'm really glad you made the effort with me!

R: Yeah! I just wish we got to spend more time together. But we'll just have to travel and meet up somewhere again.

M: Exactly! It'll happen someday again. So speaking of travel, since COVID has happened, it’s obviously been much more difficult to do that. I am also someone who is very much full of “wanderlust.” How has England, and your hometown specifically, been affected?

R: I just think we're so in shock that we just don't know what to do. We don't know if we're coming or going. Our prime minister just chops and changes the rules so much that we're all so confused on what we're actually allowed to do on any given day. We just don't know what to do with ourselves. It's been crazy, as I'm sure it has been for everyone. I just think it could have all been so different if we had had a sensible prime minister. I am very outspoken when it comes to him. 

We are gradually opening. Shops have been open for a long time as long as we have masks. We can now eat inside, but the measures are obviously very different from how they normally would be. You can only sit with your household, you have to sit very far apart from people, but I think that's been good. People are keeping to the rules for things like that because otherwise they're not allowed in. They would just refuse your entry. 

We've got something like an initiative in the country. I think it's called Help Out to Eat Out. To help the businesses, we are being encouraged, if we can, since obviously a lot of people have lost their jobs, so they probably wouldn't be able to, every Monday to Wednesday throughout all of August. So many chains of restaurants and take out food, loads and loads have signed up for this initiative, and the prices are drastically cut so that more people are going, but you have to book ahead. I don't know how it works. The government must be subsidizing it somehow so that they're not losing money. Obviously, it's only the first week of August so we've had one Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so I don't know how that's gone so far. I haven't done it yet, but I plan to. Those who aren't able to [space people out] are just staying closed, which is a shame, but some of them can't even have outside seating if they don't have [space] outside. Like if they're in the middle of a shopping center, they can't do that. 

M: That makes sense. What about for your job? How has that changed things at work? [Rianne works in a company that provides home equity loans to people.] 

R: It's totally fine for us all to work at home. It's been weird, it's been an adjustment. I don't like being away from the team because we're a close team. But we're getting bigger and bigger and bigger because the workload has been getting so crazy that we've needed 20 odd new people. But it's been fine other than the amount of work. It's been quite a smooth transition to working from home, so I think we won't be going back any time soon, not even January. We can work efficiently from home, so why not carry on until things are safer? 

M: What have you done (other than working) to keep busy, take care of yourself, and feel connected to people? 

R: For myself, I've been going on a lot of walks. I've noticed that I've been stress eating more than normal and baking, having lots of goodies. And I haven't really been working out like I normally would, so that's really kind of affected me. I didn't think it would, but I always feel better when I work out. So I'm like, "OK, now I need to not just walk, I do need to work out a bit more." So I've started doing that, but only recently. I just feel like I need to do that because I've gotten so lazy watching so much Disney+ [laughs]. I don't know if it's the same in America, but probably. I just heard on the news today that 12 million people, something like that, signed up to a streaming service they weren't signed up to before, which doesn't surprise me really because when we were completely locked down, there's only so much you can do at home.

M: Yeah, it really makes you value entertainment a lot more than you may have realized.

R: And to kind of keep sane before we were allowed to venture out and see people, I was having regular video calls with friends, even like groups of friends. So that we could have "girly nights" because me and my friends normally get together for a girls night, so we're just doing them virtually. It was nice because we kind of put in more effort because we needed each other. Everyone's going through the same thing, and we wanted to be there [for each other] as much as possible even if it's just over video. But now we are able to meet up with people again. We still have to be socially distant, but I think at the moment we only have to be 1 meter (3 feet) apart. So I have met up with a few groups of friends for picnics and walks and things like that.

M: Would you consider visiting the US again when it’s safe to do so? Where would you want to go and why?

R: I really want to go back to New York and Boston, so that I can meet up with you if that ever works out when you're around. There are so many places in America I haven't been. I feel like I've been on the West Coast, then New York, Boston, and Florida. That's probably the only other place I've been on the East Coast. I haven't done much of the middle or down South so much. I guess Florida is the South, but not really. I want to go to places like Alabama, Tennessee. Is Tennessee the South?

M: Yeah, it is.

R: Is it? Yeah, there are so many things I'd like to do in Tennessee.

M: Yeah, a lot of country stars come out of Tennessee.

R: Oh, yeah! And I love country music, but that's not popular here. My American friends got me into it. I have so many country songs on Spotify.

As soon as we can travel again, I don't think America will the the top of my list. Well, actually, the plan was to go to New York for my birthday in November, but that's probably out of the question. So then the next thing I wanted to do was a big three-month trip to Asia. And work said that I could maybe do a sabbatical for that, which is nice. But there are just too many places I want to go in the world! Like Antarctica I really want to go to, and Peru, the Caribbean. Where would you want to go?

M: That's so hard! I've never been to South America, so I'd want to go there. It would be cool to visit Argentina and Chile. Russia is also on my list only because that's where I was born, but it's kind of complicated with going back there right now, but maybe one day.

R: Have you never visited since you left?

M: No, my family left when I was nine months old.

R: Oh, so you really were a baby still!

M: Yeah, so most of what I know about it is through my parents and my family members who still live there. And I've gotten more in touch with some of my family members now than when I was younger. It's been nice to reconnect and feel like I have more of a connection to that place. But that challenge is that my parents have more of a nostalgic feel for it. They have things that the remember that they didn't like about it or liked about it. But it's changed so much since then. My grandfather always said, "I'm never going back. It's not the same Russia I left." And then for me it's just like, "I just want to be able to see something that resembles all of these memories!" One day, that would be nice. I also want to visit Ghana. I do have a couple of connections there with teachers I've collaborated with. So I feel like it would be cool to actually be there, and it's something so different from my experience here. South Africa would also be cool. And Asia too! I really want to go everywhere. It's hard to say what's at the top of my list because there are just so many cool places in the world.

R: And just not enough time or money, to me. If I could travel for a living, I sure would.

M: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being so honest and researching your answers. I learned a lot just from hearing you talk about your country and things like that, so thank you.

R: No problem!

See previous posts for Parts I and II of this interview.

Dispelling British Myths: Interview with Rianne Part II

To get to know Rianne better, I asked her to share some of the highlights of her home country. I think we both came out of this section learning a lot about the other's country, both present and historically. Read on to learn about a side of England you may not have known about.

M: Since we're talking about England, I’ve actually never been there. I really hope to go one day. What’s something about your country that might surprise or intrigue people?

R: Now, this I looked up quite a few things and I learned a lot about my own country. I will reel off a few things that I found. The first thing I want to point out, and this isn't a fact, it's just something I want people to know about England. It doesn't rain all the time. It really doesn't. We haven't had rain for a long time, so I kind of want it to rain. That's the number one myth. It does rain. We do have that kind of climate where if it does rain, it's going to be a bit nonstop, but it's not all day every single day.

This is another thing that lots of people maybe think and assume about England because we're so small. A lot people I've met have asked me, "Have you met the Queen?" And I'm like, "No..." or they'll ask, "Oh, I have relatives in England. Do you know them?" And I say, "No, no I don't. Why would I?" We're not that small! We're small in size, but with the amount of people packed in, there's no chance I'm going to know them. That would be the craziest small world story if I did happen to know them.

M: But you know what's funny, I have a colleague who's from Australia, and he told me that he once got to perform ballroom dance for Princess Diana. But he's not even from England, he's from Australia!

R: That's something else that people think we're obsessed with - the royals. We're not. I feel like other countries are more obsessed with our royal family than we are.

M: There are definitely a lot of Americans who are obsessed with the royal family.

R: Yeah, and I don't know why. I like the younger generation of royals like Harry and Meghan, William and Kate; I love all of them. But not the older ones, I'm not such a big fan.

M: I think part of it is just the appeal. In America, we've never had anyone with the title of king or queen. If you look back at colonialism and how America as we know it today got started, a lot of people who disagreed with the policies that the king presented decided, "We're going to go and start our own country."

R: You know they never taught us anything like that in England in history. So I didn't know why Independence Day [in the US] was Independence Day. I didn't know it was being independent from Britain. They kind of sweeped that under the carpet here. Maybe it's like the big shame.

M: I'm honestly kind of shocked! I mean, England has colonized so many countries. Do you know about the colonization of India?

R: I know that we had colonization. Do we still have colonization? I don't even know. I know that we still have a Commonwealth with lots of countries, but I thought we were losing lots of colonies that we had. But one thing that I did read was that the Queen supposedly owns, well not owns, I don't know if that's the right word, 1/6th of the earth that she still rules over or has had some kind of power over at one point or another, which is crazy!

M: Yeah, there was the expression, "The sun never sets on the British Empire, " because they had so many colonies all over the world at one point that no matter where you were in the world, it would have been daylight somewhere.

The territories that were at one time or another part of the British Empire. The United Kingdom and its accompanying British Overseas Territories are underlined in red.

R: Yeah! I've got some more cool things. I don't think people realize how many different accents we have in England. I think a lot of people assume that it's just like Posh or Cockney. They seem to be the main two that are shown in the media or on TV. So you can travel 25 miles down the road, and it would be a completely different accent. I can often meet someone, hear their accent, and be like, "You are from Birmingham." Whereas maybe in America, I know you have different accents, but maybe you wouldn't know specifically, "You are from this city."

M: I think it depends because there are regional accents and within those that are more specific accents. So I think if you live in a certain region, you get really good at recognizing accents in that region. I can recognize, with those who have heavier accents, what a Boston accent sounds like versus New York or Connecticut. But if you went down south, a lot of Northerners have this conception of what a Southern accent sounds like, but if you went to individual Southern states, and even some cities, you would see that there was a huge difference. So I get that feeling of not realizing just how many accents there are in one place. It's kind of cool!

R: Yeah! That's something I really do like. Oh, another cool thing I found out is that here, in England, you're never more than 75 miles from the sea anywhere in the country. We [also] have over 100 islands in England, which maybe people didn't know. I didn't know that! I could think of maybe 5. We have over 1,500 castles if you like that kind of thing. We have so many of those! The whole of the UK is smaller than the state of Oregon. We are tiny!

M: That's crazy! I didn't realize that it was quite that small. When you say England, do you just mean England or are you including all of the UK?

R: For size, I mean all of the UK. The UK is made up England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, but Great Britain is just England, Wales, and Scotland. Oh, and the other thing that I think is interesting is our national dish. People would assume that it's fish and chips or a rice dinner, but it's actually curry.

M: Really? Curry? That probably stemmed from some Indian connections there.

M: Awesome, thanks for sharing that! I remember one of the things we chatted about was English slang. I think that many Americans’ understanding of British slang (especially that of millennials) comes from Harry Potter. Just for fun, what are some slang words and phrases you can share?

Rianne:

Cheeky - mischievous

Fit - hot, attractive

Minging - disgusting

Cheers - thanks

Taking the mick - making fun of someone

Mint - cool

Gutted - sad about something

Pants - rubbish

Bog - bathroom

Scrummy - yummy (scrumptious and yummy combined)

Nowt - nothing

Mug - gullible (You're a mug!)

Snog - make out

Skint - poor

Bagsy - calling dibs or shotgun

I know English has obviously originated here, but we just took the language and destroyed it ourselves [Laughs]. That's probably a bit harsh.

M: I don't think it's so much destroyed as it evolves. As with any language, as time goes on, new words develop, new ideas of how to communicate develop. There was English slang in the 1800s too, and it was pretty different but it was also slang! Slang has always existed as a way to make talking more fun, I think. That's a good list of words, thank you!

Map is composed from the following sources:

Stewart, John (1996) "Cyrenaica" The British Empire: an encyclopedia of the Crown's holdings, 1493 through 1995, McFarland & Co. ISBN: 0-7864-0177-X. 

Brown, Judith (1998) The Twentieth Century, The Oxford History of the British Empire Volume IV, Oxford University Press ISBN: 0199246793. 

Dalziel, Nigel (2006) The Penguin Historical Atlas of the British Empire, Penguin ISBN: 0141018445.

STAY TUNED FOR PART III OF THE INTERVIEW.

From England to the US: Interview with Rianne Part I

Rianne

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rianne, a chocoholic and lover of travel who often gets "itchy feet" as the expression goes. Every one of her trips must include trying the best dessert in the area. She lives in England in the city of Southampton, famous for being the port city from which the Titanic departed. She was visiting Los Angeles last summer and stayed in the same room as me in the Walk of Fame hostel on Hollywood Boulevard. In our chat, she shares a great deal about her travels on the West Coast and how it compares to her home country.

Mariya: Can you share a bit about what brought you to Los Angeles last summer?

Rianne: I'm quite the movie and TV program addict. That's why a lot of places I go are normally places I've seen on TV or in a movie somewhere. So that's why I look up where they filmed something and I say, "OK, I can go there and there when I'm in this city." 

[LA is] the ideal place to go when you're a bit of a movie buff because it was fascinating for me to see soooo many places there that I had seen on TV, and also going to a couple of the studios. I got to see the magic of how they put everything together. 

M: What did you enjoy the most about your trip? 

R: Do you mean overall or specifically Los Angeles?

M: We could talk about both!

R: Overall, it would be catching up with a lot of my friends who I hadn't seen in a long time. They're people that I've met through travel. I realized there were quite a few on the West Coast, so that's why I decided to do that route when I went. Then obviously making a lot of new friends, like you, along the way, which was really nice!

Something else that I enjoy doing that I forgot to say was going on walks and hikes, so that was a big part of my trip as well. Not when it was too hot! That's why I didn't get to do the hike to the Hollywood sign; I really wanted to do that.

M: It was really hot when we went, I have to say.

R: I would like to do that, so I definitely want to go back to do that. Well, it's LA so it's always going to be warm, but when it's cooler in the day. When I went to Runyon Canyon, about an hour or two before sunset and that was perfect. It was just nice and refreshing when I went.

Other parts of LA that I liked: obviously the studios. Oh, Hugh Jackman! I got to see him when I went to the Hollywood Bowl, which was amazing. That was one of my favorite bits. I did that one as a YOLO thing. We weren't far where we were staying from the Hollywood Bowl, were we? It was like a 10-15 minute walk. The night before I went, I walked up and I was just planning to listen, and when I could hear him singing that night, I was like, "I need to get a ticket." So I just went to the ticket office and was like, "Do you have any tickets for tomorrow?" and then I just booked one. I've never done that before. I'm very organized when I go places. I have everything planned out and scheduled. So that was a "treat yourself" moment. I'm so glad I did it! He is worth every penny! He's brilliant.

Oh, and one of my favorite days was my last day with you guys! That was like the perfect last day. It was really good, especially ending with the gig. That was fun!

M: Did you find that coming to the US was a culture shock?

R: I don't think it is because I feel like in some ways we are quite similar as countries. I feel like of all the countries in the world, America and the UK are kind of "best buddies."

M: Well, yes and no.

R: I don't know, because maybe we're more so with Canada. But that's what it feels like to us. And because I had been to America quite a few times before, so I'm more used to it.

A few things that I was kind of aware of...it's not so much culture though...I was very anxious about guns. Very, very anxious. When I was by myself, I would always be kind of looking over my shoulder and planning an escape route if the worst happened, like was there anywhere I could take cover, that kind of thing, which I would never ever think about back home.

I [also] feel like strangers are a lot more friendly in America. I don't know if that's something you find or I just came across some nice people.

M: It's hard to say. I think there are a lot of stereotypes about different parts of the US and how they act towards tourists. I think California and the West Coast in general have a more positive view where they're friendlier and more laid back. I would say there are definitely a lot of stereotypes around New York, where I'm from, that are like "they're the rudest, they're the meanest, they'll brush you off."

R: I didn't get that impression at all when I was in New York! Everyone I came across was friendly.

M: Thank you! [Laughs]

R: I think it's the opposite. In England, as a stereotype, we're thought of as being super polite, but I don't think that's the case at all. We really keep to ourselves. In America, you'll pass someone and they'll say "hi." That rarely happens in England. If someone says "hi" to us, we're like "Whoa! Why are you talking to me?" We really keep to ourselves and we're kind of stuck up.

M: You think that's true for England? Because I know that's a stereotype some people have.

R: I really do. In my experience, anyway. Maybe it's just in southern England. People from northern England tend to be friendlier. I can say that because I am from the South and we do have a big North-South divide. But I will admit, they are friendlier.

I've also noticed that there aren't really any pubs in America, mostly bars. We have some bars in the UK too, but really pubs are more homey and quaint. You can sit by a roaring fire, it's more of a family place where people go to get a pub meal. And there are over 60,000 pubs in England.

STAY TUNED FOR PARTS II AND III OF THIS INTERVIEW.

COVID Response Argentina vs. US: Interview with Carolina Part II

In the first part of her interview, Carolina shared a bit about her Argentinian culture and language as well as how she fell in love with California. Our conversation then turned, as it inevitably does these days, to the effects of the pandemic on us and our communities. Getting a first-hand description of how different countries are handling this crisis brings to light the values inherent in each government.

Note: If you'd like to watch/listen the full interview, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hee0DmZU54 

Mariya: Since COVID-19, it’s obviously been much more difficult to travel, which can be hard especially for the hospitality business in which you work. I’m curious to know how has your work been affected and how has your daily life been impacted?

Carolina: The hotel that I work for is closed now. We do have a few hotels that are working with the government that are hospital hotels in case you have COVID, but if it's not dangerous for you, then maybe you can stay to quarantine at the hotel. My hotel has been closed since the end of March. Fortunately, because of the law in Argentina, they are still paying my salary and everybody's salary at the hotel. We did take a reduction in salary, but still I can afford to pay my bills. We do have a few meetings by Zoom. What we are doing is working on new ways and new protocols and standards that we are going to use when we reopen the hotel. So we do have people who are going to the department of engineering. For example, they do go to the hotel, and they are preparing some things for us for when we do go back. Let's say they put a glass in front of the desk. When you go to do check in, you have a glass between the front desk agent and you. We are working on the protocols of cleaning for the rooms and they say we are trying mix what the company tells us to do and the government. For example, when someone checks out of the room, you have to leave the room for at least 10 hours by itself and then you can go in and clean it. Something like that. Then we will see if it's rentable or not. For now, we think we can open in October.

M: OK, that's pretty soon!

C: Yes, but we've been pushing the date. I don't actually know if this is going to happen. But in August, we are going to open one of the restaurants to buy food to go and to do delivery. So some of the employees can work - probably the ones that live close to the hotel so that they don't have to use public transport. Here public transport can only be used if you work for essential jobs. So only if you work in a supermarket or in medicine. Otherwise, you cannot use public transport.

M: How do they check to make sure that only those people are using it?

C: The drivers. You have to show a permission of circulation because not everyone can work. I'm not allowed - I don't have a permit to circulate - so I can't be around the city doing nothing. When you ask for the permission online, you have to put where you work, what you do, and they match your details, so they say, "OK, you can work because you work in the hospital" for example, and then your permission will say that you work in the hospital.

M: Wow, that is very strict!

C: Yes, it is strict, but also the police stop all the cars that are traveling into the city from surrounding areas. A lot of people that work in the city come from outside of the city. That's the main problem we are having that the crossing of people are making them all contagious and spreading infection. Usually I don't go out or visit friends, but actually I have to say that I did. If I go, I go by bike. For example, the other day I went to see my brother and stayed in his apartment for 2 or 3 days, and then I came back with my bicycle, and then I was waiting to see if something happened. Like [my brother and I agreed] let's wait 15 days to check that we're both OK, and not see anyone until we know that we are both OK.

M: Yeah, that's kind of been the approach of people here. If they want to visit family or friends for home visits, they recommend quarantining 2 weeks before you go, and then just to be sure, do it again when you come back. Though people will meet outside in the park or something staying 6 feet apart or more.

And so what have you done, other than visiting your brother the one time, to keep busy, take care of yourself, and still feel connected to your friends, coworkers, and family?

C: In order for me to be mentally healthy, I have been exercising in the apartment, yoga, and I started meditating every day. I think it changed me a lot and kept me in good mental health. Also, what I do is I keep in touch with my friends with my cell phone, with my messages, sometimes we speak over a video call. And what I do is I help an old lady who lives here in this building. She is more than 65 years old. Usually when I go out to buy my groceries, I ask her if she wants me to buy her anything. Then she started asking me for other things like post a few pictures on the internet. I go to her place and she does knitting. She made gloves for me, and she made a few more things, and she said she wants to sell them. So we took a few pictures and we posted it in Marketplace on Facebook.

M: She should make an Etsy shop! Do you know what that is?

C: No, what is that?

M: It's an online shop where people sell their handmade crafts like knitting, sewing, artwork, all sorts of things. You could help her create an Etsy shop, help her come up with a name for it, you post the pictures, you post the price, and people can purchase through there. Yeah, just a suggestion if she's serious about selling her stuff. That's so nice that you help her so much!

C: Yeah, I have a lot time!

M: You're making good use of your time. My last question for you is: When it's safe to travel again, would you consider coming to the US again? If so, where would you like to go?

C: Of course, I would love to visit the United States again, but I don't know exactly where. I usually prefer to go to places I don't know so that I can experience something new. I don't think I want to go to California again even though it's my favorite state.

M: Which cities have you been to in the US?

C: I've been to Las Vegas, Indianapolis, Miami, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and San Diego. Oh, I've also been to New York and Washington DC.

M: Oh, so you haven't been to the northeast in Boston! That should be your next trip.

C: [Laughs] Definitely!

M: Well, thank you for sharing your experience and a bit about your country.

C: Thank you! I'm really glad we met in Hollywood!

From Argentina to the US: Interview with Carolina Part I

Carolina

Little did I know that spending just a few days in the company of Carolina in what was a new city for both of us would lead me to a friendship that transcends boundaries even amidst this pandemic. She is from Buenos Aires, Argentina and works in five-star hotels. 

Mariya: What brought you to Los Angeles last summer?

Carolina: I have a friend who lived, but not anymore, in San Francisco, so I decided to go to visit her. She was working by the time I arrived to California, so I decided first to go to LA, then meet her in San Diego, then go to San Francisco with her. So I decided to go mainly to visit her, but I haven't visited the United States for many years, so I thought it was a really good option to go back and go to California again because it was the state I loved the most in the US. I love to travel and that is usually my goal is to save money just to travel around the world if I can. 

M: What did you like most about your trip?

C: I did know California from before. I found it even more exciting than what I thought it was going to be. For example, when I went to LA a few years ago, I liked it, but not that much. And then I found it very interesting. The people, I thought, were beautiful and warm, and I didn't expect that. I don't know exactly why. Actually, for my flight, which was to and from LA, I had to go back there from San Francisco in order to get my flight back to Argentina. I thought, "Maybe I'll go back one day earlier to catch my flight," but then I decided to go back five days earlier in order to visit a few more things. 

M: Wow, so it sounds like you really enjoyed LA a lot!

C: Yes, and I didn't expect that at all! People told me about San Francisco and that San Diego was beautiful and I would fall in love with [it], and I did, but I didn't expect that LA was going to be that fun.

M: Did you find that coming to the US was a culture shock?

C: I guess, not that much for two reasons. One: because I had been there before. Second: I had been in Japan and Thailand, so I found that a culture shock. Still, I did find a lot of things that I think it's very different from Argentina, and sometimes I find little details that make things easier for people in the US than here. For example, I found it very interesting that you have Uber spot so that the Uber [driver] can find you. Of course! That is a good idea, but we don't have that here. Also, I don't know how to explain it, but every time I open a snack, this is very silly, but it's easier than the snacks in Argentina. 

M: Interesting! I would never have thought about that! Did you find that there was anything in particular that was similar to Argentinian culture?

C: I did find that the people, when you talk to them, and even when I sometimes don't understand everything because of the language, I still found that the kinds of jokes and humor were the same. Sometimes I didn't understand what they were saying, but I did understand when they were laughing between them it's the same as us in Argentina. 

You know how when you touch someone's shoulder but then you run around the person from the other side? I saw this a few times and it's the same in my country too. We do that to each other. It felt like warm, like brothers!

M: So similar sense of humor. Nice! And I'm curious to know more about Argentina because I've never been there. What is something about your country that you think would be surprising or intriguing to people?

C: There are a few tourist spots that I was thinking about. For example, in the north of the country we have Iguazu Falls that we share the [water]falls with Brazil. Those falls are 100% natural. I was reading about the different falls you can find in the world, and I'm not sure if this is the only one that we have, but other falls might have concrete [structures] to keep them flowing. The ones that we have are 100% natural.

Another thing that is interesting is that in the south we have a place we call "The End of the World" because when you reach Ushuaia, which is the last city that we have, it's kind of the end of the world because there is nothing else more south. That's a beautiful place, and it's completely different to the north. People are also completely different, even the way they look. In the north, people are shorter. 

M: Huh! Really? It's that noticeable that you would go south after being in the north and see that the people were much taller?

C: Yes.

M: I really want to go there now when it's safe to travel again.

C: But first you have to make a stop in Buenos Aires!

M: Yes, definitely! I know we've also talked about Argentinian Spanish. Could you share some of the unique modern day aspects of it?

C: Since the Spanish language is not an inclusive language, usually the plural is a male word, let's say. For example, if we have a meeting and even if you have more women than men, and you ask, "Is everybody here?" "Estamos todos?" You would say "todos" instead of "todas." Even if it's only one man! Since feminism has become more popular so has the "lenguaje inclusivo." Women were trying to depart from the language also. 

A variation of that is we have changed a few words as well. We have a few words that are male that have always been like that. Let's say "cuerpo," body. It's always "cuerpo" no matter if it's a male or female body. So we women decided to call it "cuerpa." That's something that's very new, and probably if you go outside Buenos Aires or if you go to a small town, they probably won't know what you are talking about. I think what we are trying to do is to show men that we can be part of the language as well. In Buenos Aires we have the Obelisco tower, which is like our Eiffel Tower, but much smaller. If you go to the center, to downtown Buenos Aires, you must take a picture with the Obelisco. That's the name, Obelisco, but sometimes we say, "We will meet at the Obelisca." We create new female words with the words that already exist.  

M: That's really cool! Is this something that only women will do? Or have some men also taken to this language?

C: Usually it's women and maybe the LGBT community will use it too...and sometimes a few men to be warm. Actually, another thing we talked about I wasn't sure if it was even international was the "e" ending.

M: Yeah, like the pronoun "elle" instead of "ella" or "el." 

C: Exactly! Because you don't know if a person can feel as a male, female, or not any of those. So you don't have to talk about them as a woman or a man.

M: Yeah, maybe they're non-binary.

C: Exactly. So we start talking with the "e" instead of "ella" or "el."  For example, our president the other day was talking, when they referred to everybody, he said, "todos, todas, y todes." It doesn't matter who you feel you are, you will be included. 

M: Wow, that's awesome that he does that! Here in the US, there are some places that are very open to the LGBT community and some that are more closed off. Even when you think about using the pronoun "they/them" instead of "he/she" it causes so many problems for people. That's really cool that your president did that.

C: I think he did that because his son is from the community, so he can feel it from the inside of his own home. Otherwise I don't know if there is another president would could do something like that. 

M: That's true. It does make a difference to know somebody personally. 

C: But it did make a huge thing to talk about. If the president is saying something like that, then it's like "wow," and the LGBT community is like "yay!"

Stay tuned for Part II of the interview in which Carolina shares how the pandemic has shaped her and her city.