Onward Israel's Impact: Interview with Stef Part III

To conclude, Stef talked about her experience joining and working with Onward Israel, the program where I met her.

Mariya: Jumping back in time a little bit, when you were in Onward Israel, what made you decide to join that team? 

Stef: Before I made aliyah, I was a high school teacher.

M: What subject did you teach?

S: I used to teach Jewish Studies at a Jewish high school in Chicago, and I loved working with teens. The next step after teens is college students. So when I came here and this opportunity came up, I was like, "OK, that's a population of people I enjoy working with, the young adult population." And the truth is that a number of my students that I worked with in Chicago came on the Onward trips when I worked there. It was really fun to see them in their next stage of life.

Another aspect was that I love when people come to experience Israel. I think Birthright is a great program, but I think the biggest barrier after Birthright is experiencing Israel beyond the tourist bus. I think it's great that people come here and have a wonderful 10-day experience, and see all the sites, and interact a little bit with some native Israelis, and it's all fun, and maybe there's some learning content. But when that trip's over, it was a vacation, and a lot of people say, "Oh, I'm going to come back to Israel," and then they don't because life happens. You go back to school, you get a job.

Onward is this really unique opportunity to come back to Israel to have a job, to live in an apartment, to not always be on a tourist bus. Yes, we did some trips and we tried to get out there, but the bulk of the program was to give people a taste of what it's like to live here. It's not exciting every day because you're going on a trip and you're going to the Dead Sea, and you're going to Masada, and you're going to Tel Aviv to a nightclub. You lived in an apartment, you had to go to the grocery store, cook your dinner, wake up in the morning, take a bus, go to work, meet locals who were working in a field you might be interested in working in some day, come home, be tired, make dinner, go to sleep. You know, that's what normal life is. I think people often have this expectation of living in a foreign country that it's going to be fun, fun, fun all the time. I think a really important piece is that if you really want to experience what a culture is like you have to immerse yourself and see how the average person spends their time.

Onward was a unique experience in that it was able to give, even if it was just for two months, people who had been here before and had already experienced the travelling side of things, to then experience the living side of Israel.

M: Yeah, that's one of the things I loved about the program. And still in interviews for jobs that I've had since then, that is one of those formative experiences that I always come back to that kind of shaped part of the career that I went into. Is there anything you remember most fondly from the year of my trip (2013)? You were just pregnant with your twins.

S: [Laughs] I remember being on the bus, and I don't think I had told anyone that I was pregnant, right? I don't think you guys knew yet.

M: Not right away, no.

S: I remember we were on the bus on one of our trips, and I got so nauseous, I threw up. And I remember some people who were sitting in the front of the bus started whispering, "Did she just throw up? Is she ok? Is she pregnant?" And I was dying laughing in my head. I figured at some point over the summer I'm going to have to tell them because at some point I'm going to have a belly.

That was actually my first summer with Onward was your group. What was exciting for me was that the program hadn't existed in Haifa prior to that summer. That's one of the jobs that I got upon accepting the position with Onward. They had had programs in other cities in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv in other summers, but not in Haifa. So I was given this blank slate. They were like, "Here are these students coming. Find them jobs." And I was like, "OK!" I really spent a lot of that year researching what are the jobs in Haifa, what do these students want to be doing, and making those connections. By doing so, I really got to know my city so well. To know what kind of industry is in Haifa, to know what kinds of organizations, non-profits, schools, to get to know the neighborhoods, where everything is located, especially because I was also new to the city at the time.

I had only been there for the year leading up to that summer. So it was an amazing opportunity for me, it was very personal, that I got to know all of these places. People who grew up in Haifa their whole life don't know these places exist there. Why would they? I don't know. I don't necessarily know all of the industry where I grew up. It really gave me this amazing opportunity to delve deep into Haifa and get to know the city so well. It also gave me an opportunity to learn what students in America want to be doing here since it was the first summer, and in that way, sort of guinea pigs. From the company's side, what they're hoping to get out of the experience, from the students' side, what they're hoping to get out of the experience, and making that connection -- that's what stands out for me.

And I don't think everything went smoothly. I think there were issues and all different things, and that's the problem solving piece of the job too -- helping people figure out how to make the best of a situation, how to make things work.

M: Yeah, that trip was really, really special. Something I've said, too, to people from the trip who I still kept in touch with is part of that was because of you just being such a great guide through the whole process even when things didn't go smoothly.

S: Thank you.

M: Now that you’ve moved on from Onward Israel, have you maintained your connection with participants on the trips (other than me, or course) or the members of your former team?  

S: Yeah, Facebook is an amazing tool in that it allows you to keep in touch with so many people even if not actively, but somewhat passively. I am Facebook friends with many, many, many of the participants that came through the program. There have been a number of participants who have come back. While that may not be the main goal of the Onward program, but one of the underlying goals of it is that they build a deep connection with Israel and they want to come back whether it's for visits (which is great), for a sabbatical, for a time period of some point. Some students have come back and they call me up! It's great to hear what people are doing with their lives.

There are participants who have gotten married already. There are participants who have gotten careers in the fields that they had their internship in. There are participants from Onward that have made aliyah. It's fun for me to see my babies growing up. It's fun to see where people have taken the experience from when we were together and moved forward. If you ever come back, call me up! I love grabbing coffee with people and just catching up, seeing what people have been up to. I think that's been, for me, a big piece of the Onward puzzle, is that through Facebook and other social media where we keep in touch passively, but when people come back here.

Not just me, but I know people who have come back for a family trip and they get in touch with their old boss and they go out for drinks with their old boss. I think that's such a great thing also because it means that you have a deeper connection with the people, with the culture, with the community whose here. And not just say, "OK, I'll go to a hotel, I'll go to a museum, I'll go on this hike." No, "I'll go meet up with a former colleague, a former boss, we're going to catch up."

M: Alright, well, thank you so much Stef!

Life as an Israeli: Interview with Stef Part II

While Part I of my interview with Stef dealt with her immigration to Israel, this second part concerns Stef's experience living in Israel in terms of day to day life. Whether you are a frequent visitor to Israel or you've never stepped foot in it, her insights are informative of what it can be like for someone there, especially, but not exclusively, as a Jewish person.

Mariya: I know you lived in Haifa before and now you're in Jerusalem. What would you say are your favorite things about either one of those cities?

Stef: I think one of the best things about making aliyah and going straight to Haifa is that there isn't a big English-speaking-olim (immigrant) population. So it sort of threw us into the midst of becoming Israeli fast and hard. We didn't have a choice. We had to learn Hebrew if we wanted to socialize, we wanted to have friends, we wanted to get by. There are many places to make aliyah in Israel: Jerusalem is one of them, Tel Aviv, other cities like Ra'anana, Modi'in where there are huge English-speaking populations, where it's an easier landing, definitely. There you can have large social circles, where most services are in English, and most people choose to go that route because of the easy landing.

For us, we went to Haifa for Matt's school. He was doing a doctorate at the University of Haifa, but it was great. It was exactly what we wanted, exactly what we needed. We learned Hebrew fast, we integrated culturally, and we felt that Haifa was a really great place for that. Not to mention, there's the beach, which now that we live in Jerusalem we really miss the beach in Haifa since Jerusalem is landlocked. Haifa in the north is just so beautiful. It's green, and there are hills; we used to always go hiking on trips around the north; we loved being out in nature. There were hiking trails inside the city of Haifa, which was so fun. You can just walk off a main street and you're in the woods. It was great. We really loved living up north.

We came to Jerusalem for work and school. I always say one of the greatest things about Jerusalem is the weather. It's hot and dry in the day, but it cools down at night, whereas in Haifa it was hot, then hot, and more hot. And super humid, but in Jerusalem it's not so much. So we joke that that's best part, but there are other really great things. Obviously, historically, we love taking the kids to the Old City, and to the shuk (outdoor marketplace), and there's so many fun things to do here. While we still maintain a lot of friendships with Israelis, we also made a lot of friends with English speakers here, for better or for worse. We don't know where our future will be -- if we'll stick around here, or if we'll head back north, or if we'll be in a totally different part of the country. I think that for us, obviously, being in Israel is the goal, and it's great to experience different parts of the country and see what they have to offer.

M: Some people who have never set foot in Israel and only read about it in the news have this perception that life there is perpetually dangerous because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. There are bombs flying everywhere, and you have to watch every step you take. I'd love to hear from your perspective, having lived there for eight years now, how has this conflict affected your life?

S: There have been times in Israel with wars and conflicts and it is dangerous. But there are times when I feel safer here than in the US. There have been shootings in synagogues and in schools, in public places. If you're a person of color in the US, it's a scary time. I look at the news in the US, and I feel the same way here as I'm sure a lot of people in the States feel looking here. Like, "Wow, I can't believe people are living there. Every day must be so scary." I have the same thoughts across the ocean looking in the other direction. I think what we see the news often amplifies what's going on at the extreme ends of society. Even in the midst of the most intense times, day to day life here in Israel continues. People don't think about that because why would that be in the news? People don't report it.

Since we've lived in Israel, we've been here for military operations. I have 6-year-old twins and when they were babies and we lived in Haifa, there was threats of rockets. I remember one night, in the middle of the night, I heard the Tzeva Adom, the Red Siren, went off, and then you have less than a minute to get to a bomb shelter. We had these infant twins and we were in our pajamas, all of a sudden there's this blaring siren, and we have to grab the twins and run into the hallway, and there are all of our neighbors in their pajamas and their babies. It was such a crazy moment, and it made me think, "Wow, this is our life. This is what we're doing." So there have been moments like that, but on a day to day basis, I wake my kids up, make them breakfast, take them to school, I go grocery shopping, and all of the boring things in life that everybody does everywhere. It feels like a very safe place in that way.

M: I appreciate that you mentioned both sides of it because it's true that the news wouldn't report a story that said "Mother wakes her children up and takes them to school." Have you done anything or know of any organizations that are trying to bridge this religious and cultural gap between Palestinians or Israeli-Arabs and the Jewish community?

S: I think that as student in university right now I'm in an interesting position because I think it's one of the most integrated areas of Israeli society where you have religious Jews, non-religious Jews, Arabs, Muslims, Christians, people from all different backgrounds, international students, all in the same place -- in university. While it's not an organization that is actively doing anything, I do spend every day with a wide, wide, wide range of Israelis from all backgrounds who are all together studying.

I think from that place, it reminds me of what someone once told me that in order to make peace, we have to humanize the other. I think that a big problem here is Israel is that there is a lot of segregation. There are Jewish towns and Arab towns. Even within a city like Haifa which is a very integrated city, one of the most integrated cities in all of Israel, there are predominantly Jewish neighborhoods, predominantly Arab neighborhoods. While there is a lot of integration in the workplace and in public transportation, in terms of where people live there is still a lot of segregation.

Here in Jerusalem you feel it even more because it is a much more politicized city than Haifa. But for me, in my academic bubble, we're all kind of there learning art. Politics does play a big piece because I think people use art as a way of political expression, so politics does come up a lot in my program. It's coming from a place of opening up and speaking about our experiences and getting to know one another on a deeper level, which doesn't necessarily happen in other parts of society. So I feel lucky right now where I am. I have friends who live in Ramallah, I have friends who grew up in small Arab villages, and I have friends who are completely secular Jews who grew up in Tel Aviv.

Even sometimes in the religious and secular divide in Israel, people don't know the other. If you are Dati, if you are religious, you only really know religious people. If you are secular, you only know secular people. It's a great benefit of being in my program -- getting to know people -- and we have a common core, which brings us all together, which is art, which is what we're there to learn. It really does bring different aspects of Israeli society together.

THIS CONCLUDES PART II. YOU CAN FIND PART I IN THE PREVIOUS POST. STAY TUNED FOR PART III.

From American to Israeli: Interview with Stef Part I

When I interned in Haifa, Israel for two months the summer after my junior year of college, I got to know our leader, Stef. She was responsible for facilitating our experience in the program. Now, seven years later, we reconnected, and Stef shared a bit about her experience making the transition to Israel later in life. She is a mother of four kids: two 6-year-olds, a 4-year-old, and a 1-year-old. She is also currently an arts student at the Bezalel Academy of Art and Design in Jerusalem, which is her third time attending university. She is married to Matt who is an archaeologist, and they have been living here in Israel for eight years. Read on to learn more about her!

Mariya: What’s your aliyah (immigration to Israel) story? What prompted you to make this change in your life?

Stef: So I think the first time I actually thought about making aliyah was probably when I was 12 years old. My mom had a good friend, an Israeli woman, who worked as an ulpan teacher. She invited us to come spend one of our summers in Israel when I was 12 years old, and I actually lived at this old ulpan. Ulpan is where you learn Hebrew when you come here. It's sort of like an intensive immersion Hebrew program. We did it for a summer. It was us and a whole bunch of other families and people who had made aliyah. We didn't. We were just here to learn Hebrew and spend time with this family friend. So I think that was the first time it popped into my head as a possibility since we were surrounded by all of these other people who had made aliyah.

By the time I was 17 years old, I was really involved in youth group and Jewish summer camps. Israel was always a prominent event in my teen years. So the idea of living in Israel was always spoken about, and I did an Israel trip in high school. I really fell in love with the people and the country, and thought that this could be a place I would want to spend my adult years. I planned to come on a gap year program between high school and college, but it was in the midst of the intifada, the Second Intifada and my parents pulled me out of the program just before it started. So I went off to university. Y'know, my plan had been that I would do a gap year program, make sure it was what I wanted to do, stay, join the army, spend the rest of my life here. But that didn't happen.

So I went to university in Canada, and decided that I would try again for my junior year abroad. So I came for my junior year abroad for a semester, loved it, decided right then and there that I wanted to give it a shot living here, whatever that meant. I came back after I graduated and did my master's degree in Jerusalem, and I gave myself three years (it was a three-year-long degree) to decide if this is really what I wanted to do. If I really wanted to spend my life here and live here. It was kind of this dream that always was, but I didn't know in practical terms what it meant. So I gave those three years as my trial period. I decided that it was definitely what I wanted to do. I felt at home here, I felt that my future was here for so many reasons.

I went back to the US, worked for a few years, came back with my husband (we made aliyah together). So it was sort of a dream that was building for a long, long time until all the pieces fell into place.

M: Wow that's amazing that you already knew from age 12 that this is what you wanted to do. Did you feel, when you were dipping your toes into the possibility of living in Israel, that there was any element of culture shock?

S: I think for me the culture shock was more of a comfort. I grew up in Buffalo, NY, in a place where for my whole life my Jewish identity was something that made me different from everybody else. I was one of one, or possibly two, Jewish kids in my class. I went to a Hebrew school that had five or six kids in it. It was a very small Jewish community, where I was. Always the places growing up where I felt most comfortable was at Jewish summer camp, Jewish summer trips, youth group. Also, when I came to Israel, it felt like that environment of being in a Jewish country and all of the things that made me stand out as being different where I came from, culturally were normal here. And I think the culture shock was a comfort in the sense that: "Wow! I can go out to eat at all of these different places. I don't have to check labels at the supermarket. People are speaking Hebrew." Everything was just so amazing that all of the things that I struggled with my Jewish identity growing up were all of a sudden easier here. That's what stands out for me when it comes to the culture shock that it wasn't shocking, but rather this is where I'm meant to be. This is where I feel comfortable.

M: How does it feel almost a decade later to call yourself Israeli? Do you think you would ever go back to live in the United States?

S: I definitely feel Israeli, and I think the times when I feel most Israeli is when I go back to the US to visit. Then all of a sudden all of the things that have become normal for me here stand out when I go back there. Here, we are "Americans" in that we have accents and there are still certain cultural things that will always stand out. But I see us spending our lives here. My kids were all born here. My husband wants to spend his life here also. This is our home. This is where we want to be. You know, we'll always go back to the US to visit family and friends, but to live -- not.

THIS CONCLUDES PART I. STAY TUNED FOR PARTS II AND III OF THE INTERVIEW.