Life as an Israeli: Interview with Stef Part II

While Part I of my interview with Stef dealt with her immigration to Israel, this second part concerns Stef's experience living in Israel in terms of day to day life. Whether you are a frequent visitor to Israel or you've never stepped foot in it, her insights are informative of what it can be like for someone there, especially, but not exclusively, as a Jewish person.

Mariya: I know you lived in Haifa before and now you're in Jerusalem. What would you say are your favorite things about either one of those cities?

Stef: I think one of the best things about making aliyah and going straight to Haifa is that there isn't a big English-speaking-olim (immigrant) population. So it sort of threw us into the midst of becoming Israeli fast and hard. We didn't have a choice. We had to learn Hebrew if we wanted to socialize, we wanted to have friends, we wanted to get by. There are many places to make aliyah in Israel: Jerusalem is one of them, Tel Aviv, other cities like Ra'anana, Modi'in where there are huge English-speaking populations, where it's an easier landing, definitely. There you can have large social circles, where most services are in English, and most people choose to go that route because of the easy landing.

For us, we went to Haifa for Matt's school. He was doing a doctorate at the University of Haifa, but it was great. It was exactly what we wanted, exactly what we needed. We learned Hebrew fast, we integrated culturally, and we felt that Haifa was a really great place for that. Not to mention, there's the beach, which now that we live in Jerusalem we really miss the beach in Haifa since Jerusalem is landlocked. Haifa in the north is just so beautiful. It's green, and there are hills; we used to always go hiking on trips around the north; we loved being out in nature. There were hiking trails inside the city of Haifa, which was so fun. You can just walk off a main street and you're in the woods. It was great. We really loved living up north.

We came to Jerusalem for work and school. I always say one of the greatest things about Jerusalem is the weather. It's hot and dry in the day, but it cools down at night, whereas in Haifa it was hot, then hot, and more hot. And super humid, but in Jerusalem it's not so much. So we joke that that's best part, but there are other really great things. Obviously, historically, we love taking the kids to the Old City, and to the shuk (outdoor marketplace), and there's so many fun things to do here. While we still maintain a lot of friendships with Israelis, we also made a lot of friends with English speakers here, for better or for worse. We don't know where our future will be -- if we'll stick around here, or if we'll head back north, or if we'll be in a totally different part of the country. I think that for us, obviously, being in Israel is the goal, and it's great to experience different parts of the country and see what they have to offer.

M: Some people who have never set foot in Israel and only read about it in the news have this perception that life there is perpetually dangerous because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. There are bombs flying everywhere, and you have to watch every step you take. I'd love to hear from your perspective, having lived there for eight years now, how has this conflict affected your life?

S: There have been times in Israel with wars and conflicts and it is dangerous. But there are times when I feel safer here than in the US. There have been shootings in synagogues and in schools, in public places. If you're a person of color in the US, it's a scary time. I look at the news in the US, and I feel the same way here as I'm sure a lot of people in the States feel looking here. Like, "Wow, I can't believe people are living there. Every day must be so scary." I have the same thoughts across the ocean looking in the other direction. I think what we see the news often amplifies what's going on at the extreme ends of society. Even in the midst of the most intense times, day to day life here in Israel continues. People don't think about that because why would that be in the news? People don't report it.

Since we've lived in Israel, we've been here for military operations. I have 6-year-old twins and when they were babies and we lived in Haifa, there was threats of rockets. I remember one night, in the middle of the night, I heard the Tzeva Adom, the Red Siren, went off, and then you have less than a minute to get to a bomb shelter. We had these infant twins and we were in our pajamas, all of a sudden there's this blaring siren, and we have to grab the twins and run into the hallway, and there are all of our neighbors in their pajamas and their babies. It was such a crazy moment, and it made me think, "Wow, this is our life. This is what we're doing." So there have been moments like that, but on a day to day basis, I wake my kids up, make them breakfast, take them to school, I go grocery shopping, and all of the boring things in life that everybody does everywhere. It feels like a very safe place in that way.

M: I appreciate that you mentioned both sides of it because it's true that the news wouldn't report a story that said "Mother wakes her children up and takes them to school." Have you done anything or know of any organizations that are trying to bridge this religious and cultural gap between Palestinians or Israeli-Arabs and the Jewish community?

S: I think that as student in university right now I'm in an interesting position because I think it's one of the most integrated areas of Israeli society where you have religious Jews, non-religious Jews, Arabs, Muslims, Christians, people from all different backgrounds, international students, all in the same place -- in university. While it's not an organization that is actively doing anything, I do spend every day with a wide, wide, wide range of Israelis from all backgrounds who are all together studying.

I think from that place, it reminds me of what someone once told me that in order to make peace, we have to humanize the other. I think that a big problem here is Israel is that there is a lot of segregation. There are Jewish towns and Arab towns. Even within a city like Haifa which is a very integrated city, one of the most integrated cities in all of Israel, there are predominantly Jewish neighborhoods, predominantly Arab neighborhoods. While there is a lot of integration in the workplace and in public transportation, in terms of where people live there is still a lot of segregation.

Here in Jerusalem you feel it even more because it is a much more politicized city than Haifa. But for me, in my academic bubble, we're all kind of there learning art. Politics does play a big piece because I think people use art as a way of political expression, so politics does come up a lot in my program. It's coming from a place of opening up and speaking about our experiences and getting to know one another on a deeper level, which doesn't necessarily happen in other parts of society. So I feel lucky right now where I am. I have friends who live in Ramallah, I have friends who grew up in small Arab villages, and I have friends who are completely secular Jews who grew up in Tel Aviv.

Even sometimes in the religious and secular divide in Israel, people don't know the other. If you are Dati, if you are religious, you only really know religious people. If you are secular, you only know secular people. It's a great benefit of being in my program -- getting to know people -- and we have a common core, which brings us all together, which is art, which is what we're there to learn. It really does bring different aspects of Israeli society together.

THIS CONCLUDES PART II. YOU CAN FIND PART I IN THE PREVIOUS POST. STAY TUNED FOR PART III.