On Israel, Internships, and Relationships: Interview with Alex

One of the friends I made on my work abroad trip to Israel was Alex, a leadership consultant and author. She works with leaders, mentors, and coaches who are working on building their purpose-driven team of clients and employees. She helps them learn how to make a large social impact, mentor and develop a group of people, whoever that is in their niche, while also generating income. Since December Alex has been running her own business. It's definitely looked a little different with COVID, but it's allowed her to be totally virtual and work anywhere, which she appreciates. If you'd like to to join a community of leaders looking to improve their leadership skills, check out Alex's group We Build Killer Teams here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/webuildkillerteams/

Read on to learn about how our trip impacted her life both professionally and privately.

Click this link if you'd like to watch/listen to the interview: https://youtu.be/VA_fh4_vFYg

Mariya: What made you decide to join the Onward Israel internship program that fateful summer of 2013?

Alex: It kind of just attached to my Birthright trip. So I went to Northeastern University for school, and one of the summer trips that they were doing was the Northeastern trip to Israel with Birthright, and I really didn't want to stay for just two weeks. I was like, "Why don't I take advantage of the free ticket?" Since they allow you to stay for free. So what I ended up doing was two weeks of Birthright, I travelled alone for over two weeks, and then I did Onward Israel for two months.

M: Nice! And that was your way of kind of continuing to connect with Israel?

A: Yeah, and I think I didn't want to go home either [laughs]. So it was my way of being like let me have this incredible experience. It's basically paid for by Onward Israel, by Birthright, it was such a good opportunity for me to get to explore and it was literally a once-in-lifetime experience. I don't know when I'm going to have three months to do that again.

M: What did you end up doing for your internship in Haifa?

A: I worked at the University of Haifa and I did an internship in their Psychology Research Department. It was actually kind of interesting. They were were doing a study on acculturation with people who were immigrating to Israel from the US, Russia, and there was one more country, I think it was Spain. They did tons of interviews on what kids went through when they moved from those countries to Israel, so they did all of these recordings. So I was the one to watch all of the recordings, transcribe everything from Spanish, Hebrew, and English into this one transcript for them and help them analyze that. And it was sort of interesting because I was going through my own acculturation process and I got to hear about these kids who were adjusting as well. So some of it was boring like literally sitting there for hours transcribing, but a lot of it was really interesting.

M: That must have been a lot of work to transcribe all of those interviews. Were you transcribing from all of those different languages? How did that work?

A: At the time, since I had just finished my freshman year of college and I was coming from a modern Orthodox Jewish school where I was literally taught Hebrew for 16 years, so I could read, write, and understand it. If there was something I didn't understand, then I could look it up. I also minored in Spanish so I could understand a lot of it. And I speak English. So it was a good fit in that it was all of the languages I was decently proficient at in one study.

M: Did you find that it helped inform the career decisions you’ve made since then?

A: Yes, because I'm nerdy. I like to read, I'm very science-oriented, result-oriented, and I do like learning about research. The actual doing of the research was really boring for me. Like sitting there and assessing the results for hours, staring at a computer screen for hours - I could not get into it. So that did actually change my direction. I started to realize for the classes I took at Northeastern plus that experience that I'm not sure I want to go the research route. I want more of the human connection as well.

M: It sounds like you did get some of that with learning about the acculturation experiences. It's similar to what you're doing now with building teams.

A: Yeah, it's definitely similar in some ways.

M: What were your biggest takeaways about Israeli culture in life and work?

A: I think you were at this training they did about what are the differences between the Israeli workforce and the American workforce. I definitely found this to be true: they are very direct, very blunt, very to the point. Not just at work, but everywhere. So like I'd stand at the bus station and the old ladies would shove me to the side as they make their way onto the bus. I think how direct they are is very different from everyone here. And even in my experience building teams, everyone is terrified of having tough conversations, they tip-toe around issues - it's definitely not the same in that respect.

M: Yeah, I definitely saw the same thing. Even in a school culture where I saw teachers talking to kids they were very like, "I'm not sugarcoating anything for you just because you're younger! I'm telling it like it is!" which I kind of appreciated.

A: Yeah, I liked it.

M: Our leader, Stef, really tried to build that sense of community and appreciation for Israel. What are some of the most memorable moments or events for you that really deepened your sense of connection to Israel and other Jewish people?

A: I feel like she did a good job of letting us know what was available. We lived in Haifa, which is not a super touristy area, it's not like Tel Aviv. So there were a lot of people there who didn't speak English, it was definitely very different in that way. So she just did a good job of letting us know what was going on and helped us assimilate well.

One event that stood out to me was, and you were there for this, was the salsa events. The main square where we lived, they used to do these salsa nights. All the local people who lived there used to come and do that. I think it was free and you just showed up. It was so much fun!

I do feel connected [to Israel], my dad was born there, and I actually technically have Israeli citizenship too because he was born there. Besides that, I love the country and I love the people, and I love learning about the history, but I'm not sure I'm super passionate about it in general. Although I love going and I love everything about it. But it's really just like my family history. I got to go places where my dad grew up, there were things he pointed out that I got to go and see. That was sort of special too.

At the time that I was there, also, one of my cousins had her Bat Mitzvah. They came to Israel and I happened to be there at the time, so I got to take part in that. They did an incredible, special service on top of the largest mountain you can climb. I'm blanking on the name.

M: One of my cousins had his Bar Mitzvah while I was there, so I got to go to that too. That was a very different experience because they were Orthodox. And all of the women in the synagogue were behind this divider that had these small spaces that you could poke your eye through to see what was happening on the men's side. So I was watching the whole thing through these little cutouts, which made me think, "I don't know how I feel about this, but alright." But still it was cool to have that experience there.

M: Have you done anything specific in the past 7 years to sustain your connection to Israel or parts of Israeli culture?

A: I think the biggest reminder was that I bought a lot of things to put around my apartment. So I have different posters and different things I bought from the shuks, the markets, that I still have hanging up that remind me of it.

I think the biggest thing that the trip did for me was...I had travelled to vacation-y type spots, touristy spots with my family, but this was the first trip where I went not just to go on a vacation to relax, but to genuinely try to learn and understand a different environment, a different lifestyle, a different place. I mean I just loved that so much that I've just taken so many more trips that, again, aren't just vacation-y and relaxing, but really allow me learn and experience other cultures. So I think it empowered me in that way too. I was like, "Oh, I can do this!"

M: Yeah! What other trips have you gone on?

A: My boyfriend and I went to Iceland for two weeks and we travelled all over there, which was really really amazing! We went to England, we went to France. I feel like I'm missing a country too. There's definitely another place that we went to recently that I can't remember. We started to actually do research on where do people actually hang out. We wanted to get a sense of what this place is really about.

M: Awesome! So you and I developed our friendship over the course of the trip and sort of stayed connected when we got back for a while, but then because our lives got busy we became a bit more distant. Then we re-kindled our connection this year around January just before COVID-19. What prompted you to reach out again and what advice do you have to those who are looking to revisit or sustain those kinds of relationships?

A: Well number one, for the last four to five years my life was, chaos is the wrong word but, non-stop work. So I was literally working from 5am to 9pm six days a week. So it was less that it was a purposeful loss of connection and more that it was just me and I didn't have space for anyone with the point that I was at in my life. That was part of why I wanted to get control back of my time, I want to get control back of my lifestyle. Like I didn't even have time for my boyfriend. I was only seeing him nights and part of the weekends. So once I made the switch to starting my own business, which was end of December/January, I was like, "OK, who have I not talked to in years because I haven't even had the time to take care of myself? Now, who do I have time for?"

I guess I would say, one, it's important to make sure you can take care of yourself before you're reaching out to other people and trying to get set up. Anyone that you had a good connection with, they'll remember that and they'll remember those good memories. So I think like you remember the salsa lessons and you remember the fun we had together. There are definitely plenty of people that I reached out to in January that didn't get back to me or were offended that I didn't have time for them. But you win some, you lose some I think. The people who matter will get back to you and will take you up on it.